fuck off
I post cool things sometimes
Well slap my nipples and call me Shirley
nowyoukno:

Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

officialwhitegirls:

do you ever have that one strand of hair that sticks out of your body and is longer than every other hair

(via heart)

"We didn’t say anything because there was such an awful lot to say, and no language to say it in."
William Saroyan (via feellng)

(Source: feellng, via humorking)

I wish I would have held you tighter

  • tumblr staff: hey guys we've just added this new feature to the site, isn't it great?
  • xkit guy: here's the extension to get rid of this one
tomfletcherscats:

tomfletcherscats:

this is how u use tinder right

he came out of left field with this one
foodfinisher:

Masturbation is a most deadly sin and children need to be protected from the temptation.
hallelujahchorus:

how could you fuck up so tremendously

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

theleeryone:

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

*seductively* water makes me wet

you are a dude

maybe you arent aware how water works

(via spaghettihos)

hammerspaced:

operativesurprise:

bigbootsandscaryeyes:

sammiwolfe:

fleshcircus:

thats the worst shit only because my mom basically always thought I was being a little bitch when I’d complain that it still hurts your eyes

WAIT I THOUGHT IT MEANT THAT IF YOU GOT IT IN YOUR EYES IT WOULDN’T BURN (no crying)
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IT’S SAYING NO RIPPING?
*FLIPS TABLES* THIS IS WHY THE ENGLISH WRITTEN LANGUAGE IS CONFUSING AS FUCK I AM SO SORRY NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS.

Why doesn’t it say fucking anti tangle?!

I JUST MADE BOTH MY PARENTS READ THIS I AM SO ANGRY
THEY ARE ANGRY
WE JUST HAD AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ‘TIER’ ‘TEAR’ AND ‘TEAR’
THEY THOUGHT IT MEANT NO CRYING TOO
I AM SO ANGRY

I think most kids/parents in America at the time thought it meant no tears(crying) and ESPECIALLY because it said “No tears!”, referencing crying, in the godsdamned commercial!!
ipoog:

do you think the museum will accept this as a fossil

afuckinglesbian:

majortvjunkie:

afuckinglesbian:

hot males please hit me up

but you are a fucking lesbian

WHO TOLD YOU

(Source: llttlemermaid, via spaghettihos)